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  • Writer's picturesophietodd.

"Be a Lady They Said"

Updated: Jun 3, 2020

This is the most powerful video I've seen in a long time. Understandable Cynthia Nixon's recent awareness content for Girls Girls Girls magazine has gone viral with more than 2.7 million views on Instagram, at least 1.4 million views on Twitter, 235,000 views on YouTube and 5.1 million views on Vimeo. Adapted by an essay written in December 2017 by Camille Rainville the magazine used the Sex and the City star to speak the words, adding an even heavier impact with the viewers in today's visual society and especially with Generation Z.

'Your skirt is too short. Your shirt is too low. Don’t show so much skin. Cover up. Leave something to the imagination. Don’t be a temptress. Men can’t control themselves. Men have needs.
Look sexy. Look hot. Don’t be so provocative. You’re asking for it. Wear black. Wear heels. You’re too dressed up. You’re too dressed down. You look like you've let yourself go.
Don’t be too fat. Don’t be too thin. Eat up. Slim down. Stop eating so much. Order a salad. Don’t eat carbs. Skip dessert. Go on a diet.
God, you look like a skeleton. Why don’t you just eat? You look emaciated. You look sick. Men like women with some meat on their bones.
Be a size zero. Be a double zero. Be nothing. Be less than nothing.
Be a lady, they said,
Remove your body hair. Bleach this. Bleach that. Eradicate your scars. Cover your stretch marks. Plump your lips. Botox your wrinkles. Lift your face. Tuck your tummy. Perk up your boobs.
Look natural. Be yourself. Be genuine. Be confident. You’re trying too hard. You look overdone. Men don’t like girls who try too hard.
Be a lady, they said,' she repeats again.
Wear makeup. Highlight your cheekbones. Line your lids. Fill in your brows. Lengthen your lashes. Color your lips. Powder, blush, bronze, highlight.
Your hair is too short. Dye your hair. Not blue, that looks unnatural.
Look young. Old is ugly. Men don’t like ugly.
Be a lady, they said,
Save yourself. Be pure. Don’t be a w***e. Don’t sleep around. Men don’t like sluts.
Don’t be a prude. Don’t be so up tight. Smile more. Pleasure men. Be experienced. Be sexual. Be innocent. Be dirty. Be the cool girl. Don’t be like the other girls.
Be a lady, they said.
Don’t talk too loud. Don’t talk too much. Don’t be intimidating. Why are you so miserable?
Don’t be a b****. Don’t be so bossy. Don’t be so emotional. Don’t cry.
Don’t yell. Don’t swear. Endure the pain. Don’t complain.
Fold his clothes. Cook his dinner. Keep him happy. That’s a woman’s job. You’ll make a good wife some day.
Take his last name. You hyphenated your name? Crazy feminist.
Give him children. You don’t want children? You will some day. You’ll change your mind.
Be a lady, they said.
Don’t get raped. Don’t drink too much. Don’t walk alone. Don’t go out too late. Don’t dress like that. Don’t get drunk. Don’t smile at strangers.
Don’t go out at night. Don’t trust anyone.
Don’t say yes. Don’t say no.
Just "be a lady," they said,'

I personally feel this video resonates with me as in today's society we have moved on so much with acceptance, allowing people to be who they are whatever that maybe, however this still sometimes isn't fully accepted and I feel there is an underlying truth behind what is being said, how women feel, and how some people are being spoken to. I believe this is still a current issue some people think is dealt with however equality isn't just equal rights, equal pay, equal opportunity etc, I think equality is men and women being treated the same, with the same expectations, the same freedom of expression, the same feeling of safety. That is what I believe to be one of the greater issues behind equality and what I think feminism is and should be.


St.

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